Flat Earth
One Act Play
Charcters: Ted, male: white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, suit pants.
In his hand a rubber ball.
The set is the stage
(As Ted walks onto the stage he bounces the ball on the floor and catches it. (He smiles and turns to the audience.)
(In his talk, he punctuates now and then with bouncing and catching it.)
Ted
You know there are people who think the earth is round, round like this ball. You get that?
They do really. But you got to think. I mean think. Now look, if I walked to the west like here, I’d be walking sideways, Sideways. And if I got to the other side I’d be up side down. Crazy, huh? People in China would be thinking we’re all walking up side down. And we’d think they’re walking with their heads pointing down into the air. (Ted bounces the ball several times, stops and looks to the audience.)
You want to know another thing. I mean, get this. They say we circle the sun, Yeah, I’ll say it again. They say we circle the sun. They do. All you got to do is look. You see the sun go down in the west. It gets night and in the morning it’s coming up in the east. So who’s going around who? You just got to look. (a couple bounces.)
I could go on, tell you about women. There’s a lot of stuff people believe about them too. You’d be surprised. But you know, a guy like me, a guy that figures things out, I think I’ll run for congress, be with those other guys like me, you know sleeves rolled up figuring how we’re going to make the country work. Yeah, yeah, that’s what I ought to do.
(Ted bounces the ball once, and stiffens,looks around.) Hey, I can’t be bouncing a ball all day. I gotta go to Washington. Anybody want a ball?
(He bounces the ball so that it flies out to the audience. he walks off.)